is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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