We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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