We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
