I don't think brook has ever known best
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
