Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
