Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
