dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
