i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
