addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
