Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
