Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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