We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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