Can i not drive my cunt home
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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