SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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