WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
