Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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