he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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