escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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