Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
