I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize