Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
