kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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