Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
