Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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