My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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