so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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