Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Are we still banned from the library?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
