no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
