we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
