Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize