Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
