Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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