New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I didn't notice because vodka
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
