Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
