so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
