Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
