You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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