STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
