How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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