I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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