Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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