Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
