I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
