end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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