Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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