PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
