i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
