How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
