Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
