Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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