He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
