oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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