if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
