grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
smell my finger.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
