it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
