sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We named our party play list daddy issues
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
