Pants 0. Shit 1.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
