The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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