Porn is love you can see.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
