Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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