Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
