I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
