I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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