and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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