I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
