Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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