the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
