before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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