I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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