somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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