Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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